


Everyone has someone, but I have no one.

by kpopoppa



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Body Image, Bullying, Depression, M/M, Sad, he thinks everyone hates him, ivan is just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpopoppa/pseuds/kpopoppa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reason Ivan hates himself is because everyone else hates him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone has someone, but I have no one.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in hetalia. I hope I do well^^ For more of my work please cheak me out on Asian Fanfics under the name kpopoppa.

RUSSIA POV  
I stand in the door for the world meeting. Everybody has someone. America has England, Italy has Germany, but me, I have no one. When I enter the room everyone looks at me with the familiar look of fear and hatred, but I just plaster on a smile and act like I’m fine. Not like anyone would care, because I have no one.

I try to make friends, I really do. But nobody will give me the chance. They just look at me and walk off.  
“Hello Japan.”  
I smile at the shorter, skinner male. Everyone likes Kiku.  
“I must go.”  
Kiku exclaims before walking off. I wasn’t even given a chance. I smile still, but my eyes are filling up with tears as I walk to my seat. Being lonely isn’t fun. I’m sure Canada understands, but Matthew wouldn’t even give me a chance. 

I stare blankly at the wall. I hope nobody finds it creepy.   
“Russia, you’re scaring us, stop staring.”  
What did I expect?  
“I’m sorry, da?”  
I reply quietly. I try to not scare people but I do anyway. I look down at my lap for the rest of the meeting. No one asks what I think because no one likes me. 

I make the short walk back to my hotel room. We are currently staying in America. I like it here. I tried to tell Alfred that, as a nice gesture, but he took it wrong and screamed before running off. I just wanted to become his friend but maybe I just shouldn’t talk. Maybe I shouldn’t smile as much. Maybe I should lose weight so I’m not so big. Maybe I should just die.

I decide to see what would happen if I wasn’t there. I hide in the store room, then when everyone is inside the meeting room, I hide near the door to hear what happens when I’m not there.  
“No Russia?”  
I hear Germany ask.   
“No dude. Yes! Finally a day without that creep! The other day he told me he likes it here. I screamed because I thought he might stay here!”  
I hear America’s loud voice and tears start to stream down my face.  
“He tried to talk to me too. I don’t like him.”  
I hear Japan speak now. My tears start to fall harder.  
“Nobody likes him. In fact I hate him.”  
Canada speaks now. I bite my lip to stop me from sobbing audibly. I hear a chorus of ‘me too’s’ and I’ve had enough. I get up from where I am and wipe my eyes wait a little. I’m going to walk in soon, even though I really shouldn’t, I just want to see if they really hate me that much.   
“Sorry I’m late.”  
I say. No smile. It’s scary.   
“Oh.”  
Alfred says.   
“Nyet, sorry I’m here.”  
I say to the room before I take my seat. They all look at me before returning to their normal arguing. I sit there in silence. No one in my life likes me. No one at all. All I want is a friend. Somebody who cares about me. Would mourn my death. Cares when I’m sad. Is happy to see me. I have none of that. No, I’m just creepy Ivan. No one even calls me my Human name. Never, not once. 

I’ve decided I agree with everyone. I hate me too. I would like to say to them ‘it’s ok, I hate me too’, but even that would be creepy so I don’t talk unless I’m asked to. The thing that hurt me most this week though was Alfred had a birthday party and invited everyone, and I mean everyone, even Sea land. But he didn’t invite me. But I go to his house to give him his present. I knock on the door and he answers, looking scared.  
“I won’t stay, I just want to give you this. Happy birthday Alfred, I hope you have great party with all your friends. You are very lucky. When I had my birthday, I invited everyone too, but no one came. Good bye now.”  
I walk off with tears in my eyes once again. That hurt me. When I spent so many hours setting up a great party, but not a single person showed up, I didn’t even get a happy birthday. That stung. 

When I get home I go straight to my bathroom and stare in the mirror. I know why no one likes me. I’m scary, hideous, fat, stupid, annoying, and mean. Why do I have to be like this? I want to call someone to make me feel better, make me not kill myself, but I can’t. I have no one to call. I have all of the members numbers, I’ve called and text them in the past, but no one ever replies or calls back.

I’m going to give it a shot anyway. I press England’s contact.   
“Ivan?”  
He fucking picked up!  
“Y-you picked up!”  
I say, my voice thick with tears and laced with excitement.  
“Well yes, I’m not going to ignore a call am I? Anyway it sounds like you’ve been crying.”  
He sounds like he cares. Somebody cares?  
“I hate myself. I know why everyone else does.”  
I reply, trying not to break down more.  
“Well this is completely out of character Ivan. What makes you think everyone hates you anyway? I know I don’t”  
I start to cry more. Partially because I’m overwhelmed that Arthur doesn’t hate me. Partially the memory of the meeting.  
“W-well long story short, I h-hid outside the meeting room and overheard everyone being h-happy I wasn’t there and say that they h-hate me.”  
I voice starts to hiccup from my crying.  
“Oh darling. I’ll be over in a minute. Promise me you’ll be alive when I get there.”  
Huh? He’s doing this for me?  
“I promise, da?”  
He hangs up. I slowly get up go unlock the door for England before sitting on my bed.

I hear a knock on the door.   
“Is unlocked.”  
I call out. I hear the door open.   
“Oh you look a mess Ivan!”  
“Da.”  
I reply quietly.  
“Now.”  
Arthur looks me dead in the eyes.  
“Tell me why you’re so upset.”  
I close my eyes.  
“Everyone hates me. They all have someone, but I have no one.”  
He sighs.  
“That’s not true Ivan. I ah, need to tell you something.”  
I look at him confused.  
“What is it Arthur?”  
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  
“I’m in love with you Ivan.”  
I feel a lump in my throat. I love him too. No. It can’t be.  
“Nyet, don’t joke around with my feelings.”  
I looks at me sadly.  
“I’m not Ivan!”  
“Proof it then!”  
“Will you be my boyfriend?”  
This takes me aback.   
“If you mean it, yes. If not, I never want to see you again.”  
He smiles and doesn’t say a word, just brings me in for a kiss.

We walk into the world meeting, hand in hand. I feel ok now. Even if everyone else hates me, England doesn’t and that’s ok, because now I have someone.


End file.
